COME
SERVE
PLAY
Cross Cultural Communication
Culture-Specific Pointers
Dates, Links & Resources
Dates, Links & Resources
As you prepare to begin your new friendship[s]:
- PRAY for God’s wisdom and favor in your friendship.
- FOCUS on individual students instead of trying to befriend everyone.
- Plan to FOLLOW UP with your students after the summer. More on gathering contact info on the next page.
THANK YOU
Sincerely,
Mike Lane
VBCC Pastor of Missional Living
COME
Come to at least ONE official J1 event with your J1 Friend
- Tue 7pm – J1 Café: The big party. Every week, 300+ students eat dinner, play games, and have conversation with Americans.
- Thur 7pm – Investigative Bible Study. These students are curious about the Bible and are often reading it for the very first time.
- Fri 7pm – Sand Soccer at 36th St. No skill level required – come and watch!
- Field Trips & other events – vbcchapel.org/vbj1calendar
- We ask that you come to at least one event, but please come as often as you can to as many as you can!
Be hospitable. Stand by the door to greet students, stand in the line to talk & introduce yourself. They are the guests and don’t know what is expected, so take initiative.
Get contact info. Phone and email are the best way to keep in touch. Don’t leave a new friend without this info!
Take notes on the students you meet. Names are hard to remember, much less conversation details.
Small gifts are a hospitality staple in many cultures. A jar of jam or homemade banana bread can go a long way.
Ice Breaker Questions: It is good to have a couple ready.
- What are you studying?
- Tell me about your family. What about your parents/grandparents? How many siblings do you have?
- What are your Career goals?
- What has your experience in the USA been like so far: home, job, food, interactions w/ Americans, etc.?
- Do not initiate conversations about politics.
SERVE
Serve your J1 Friend in a practical way.
International students have all kinds of practical needs. Make it clear to your J1 friend that you are available to help. Consider saying something like, “I am your American mom/dad/sibling. If something comes up, call me first!” In your first few interactions, ask questions to help them think of ways they may need help:
- Do you need to go to the bank or the post office?
- Can I show you where and how to shop for groceries?
- Have you heard of Dollar Tree?
- Do you need help making travel arrangements?
- Can I help you make phone calls?
- Do you need a ride to J1 Café?
- Can I be your English Language partner?
- Is your housing adequate? If not, can I help fix any issues?
You are not the only resource, but you are often the person who can help locate other resources. The J1 ministry is here to help. Be sure to use the Dates, Links& Resources page at the end of this primer. Hit up facebook.com/vbccj1 if you have a question.
PLAY
Spend time with your J1 friend just doing something fun.
Go Home
International students consistently list “being in an American home” as one of the most important experiences they hope to have in the US, yet the vast majority never receive an invitation. We highly recommend you show your J1 friend the honor of being invited to your home. Here are a few easy pointers:
International students consistently list “being in an American home” as one of the most important experiences they hope to have in the US, yet the vast majority never receive an invitation. We highly recommend you show your J1 friend the honor of being invited to your home. Here are a few easy pointers:
- Team up for hospitality. One person host, another person helps cook, someone else plays taxi. It’s a party!
- Entertain their curiosity about all the mundane things. Show them all your kitchen utensils and have them guess what they’re for. Explain why the things on your walls are on your walls. Expect them to take pictures – LOTS of pictures. Of EVERYTHING.
- Eat authentic American, not ethnic, not fancy. Chicken and slaw, back yard bbq, etc. Be sensitive to cultural diets (no pork for Muslims, etc.)
- Plan to play games after dinner. Pick games that do not require too much language. Janga, Uno, Dominos, etc.
Go Out
There are plenty of cool things to do in Hampton Roads. Remember, even mundane things will be new to the students, so get creative about outings together.
There are plenty of cool things to do in Hampton Roads. Remember, even mundane things will be new to the students, so get creative about outings together.
- Go shopping/mall
- Have a small group party w/ a group of J1s
- DON’T feel the need to pay for everything. It is not rude to be upfront with your J1 friends and say you are happy to go on trips but they will pay their own ways.
Ask Questions as you go and learn about people and culture.
CROSS CULTURAL COMMUNICATION
- Speak slowly and clearly
- Be sensitive about cultural differences re: personal space and physical touch.
- Ask if its ok to be a ‘language partner’. Correct English kindly and celebrate good language.
- Explain idioms, ask often, “Did you understand what was just said?”
o Nodding heads aren’t always proof of understanding
- Jokes are hard. If you tell a joke, explain it.
Spiritual Conversations: Our ministry philosophy is that honest friendship paves the way for honest conversation about faith. Don’t press spiritual conversations or be overly eager to present the gospel. Students often ask questions about faith in America, and when they do, we freely share from our own experience.
CULTURE-SPECIFIC POINTERS
Chinese/Asian students
- When you have students in your home, ask them if they want something to drink. When they say ‘no’, give a drink anyway. Don’t serve ice water. Serve room temp water, or ask them what they prefer.
- Don’t serve sweet sweets for dessert. Fruit or a sweet bread like banana bread is good.
- When they complement you, don’t say, “thank you.” Be modest by saying something like, “No, not really,” or “Somebody is better than me at that.”
- Don’t say goodbye from your door. Walk them to their car or front door.
Turkish/Muslim students
-
Introduce them to the character and power of Jesus Christ before introducing His
full works.
-
Pray for God to do the impossible (opportunities to share, soft hearts,
dreams/visions, miracles).
-
Hold Jesus closer to your heart than your American/Western identity and
thought.
-
Live for and identify more with Jesus than your denomination.
-
Abstain from leading with criticisms and avoid all broad criticisms. Broad
criticism rightly leads to contempt. No criticism is deceitful. But
narrow criticism can lead to change.
Russian/Eastern European students
- Russians will be suspicious of your intent. Be prepared to answer the question, “Why are you doing this?”
- Russians don’t smile at strangers - a cultural thing. Keep knocking, keep befriending.
- It is hard for Russians to ask for help from someone they hardly know. Offer help more than once, twice, or three times.
- Time is not money. Time is needed for building relationships of trust.
- Most Russians/Ukrainians consider themselves Christian because they go to an Orthodox church on Christmas and Easter. They know a little about Christ but don’t know Him personally.
- If you or your Russian-speaking student need help, contact Oksana @ 757-749-0900
DATES, LINKS & RESOURCES
Dates:
June 14 - Wed 7pm WELCOME PARTY!!
June 20 – Tue 7PM J1 Café all summer long (ends Aug 8)
June 22 – Thu 7PM Investigative Bible Study all summer long
June 23 – Fri 7PM Sand Soccer 36th St. all summer long
Aug 15 -- J1 In the House
Aug 15 -- J1 In the House
On these Tuesdays during J1 Cafe, we connect J1 students who signed up for friendships with their new American friends/hosts. The big green tent by the parking lot will be connection central!
SPECIAL EVENTS – Trips happen throughout the summer and require sign-up.
July 20 - Day Trip to Washington DC ($60)
Aug 2 - Kings Dominion ($70) https://www.kingsdominion.com/play/rides-thrill
Aug 17 - Day Trip to Washington DC ($60)
July 20 - Day Trip to Washington DC ($60)
Aug 2 - Kings Dominion ($70) https://www.kingsdominion.com/play/rides-thrill
Aug 17 - Day Trip to Washington DC ($60)
VBCCHAPEL.ORG/VBJ1CALENDAR for the most up-to-date list.
Links & Resources:
Vbisop.org is ‘home base’ for J1 students, with all kinds of info and links to things like
- Banking
- Housing and transportation
Facebook.com/vbccj1 – the VBJ1 facebook page, a central place for communication with students and VBJ1 leadership.
